Weasley Wednesday
by StrangerWithMyFace
Summary: Various Tales of Life in the Burrow... (Story #4 is up!)
1. Twin Trouble: Young Fred and George

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Disclaimer: Rowling, not me, yada, yada, yada. 

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Dedication: This is for the Gred to my Forge, my twin sister and beta reader, who after hearing I was now writing Harry Potter fics demanded I write one with the Weasleys in it. Because she loves them all! (except for Percy)

This is a collection of Weasley stories. You don't need to read one chapter to understand the next. 

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A quiet town, nestled in the hills, slept under a cover of darkness. Not one person was awake, but in the tiny house a bit removed from the town it was never quiet. A baby cried, two twin boys were tormenting their brother and, oh yes, a ghoul was howling in the attic. Molly Weasley sighed as she made breakfast. A new day had risen over the Burrow. 

Molly was quite used to the ruckus that her hoards of children made. To her, this was quiet. At least there hadn't been an explosion yet. Perhaps she had spoken too soon, not long after a loud BANG was heard from overhead. Molly shook her head and turned to her one and only daughter. 

"What are we going to do with those boys, Ginny?" she asked as she handed the toddler a bottle of milk. 

Ginny giggled happily. "Bang!" she yelled proudly. "Bang!"

Molly smiled down at the little girl. The two-year-old had only just mastered that word. Molly was only surprised she hadn't said it sooner. It had been Ron's first word. Ron, her youngest boy, was now three. He sat opposite Ginny at the table and grinned at her. He had cereal in his flaming, red hair and seemed pleased about it. 

Ron was getting so big, it turned Molly's heart into knots. On one hand, she was glad to see him growing up into such a good boy. But on the other hand, she wanted to keep him young forever. Why did they grow up so fast? Her two eldest boys, Bill and Charlie had already gone off to Hogwarts to school. It was Charlie's first year; she had just taken him to the train yesterday. Although Bill promised to look out for his little brother, it still broke Molly's heart to see him go. 

The rest of her family tried to cheer her up. "One down, five to go," her husband had cheered. 

"Look at it this way Mum, it's one less mouth to feed," her son Percy had reasoned. But none of that made her feel any better. Her babies were growing up! They were leaving her! What would she do once they were all gone? 

A sudden thunder from the staircase shook Molly out of her reverie. It was like elephants hopping down the stairs. The entire Burrow shook underfoot. "'Red! 'Orge!" Shrieked Ron smartly. It was, of course, his two older brothers on their way to breakfast. They had apparently tired of throwing things at Percy. 

Two stubbly, little boys of six appeared in the doorframe, each a mirror image of the other. They smiled innocently at their mother in unison. "Morning Mum." They sat down on either side of Ron. 

Molly gave them a wary look. "I don't want any trouble," she warned. Fred and George tried to look as though they didn't know what she was talking about. Over the summer they had taken to prodding Ron to do something "interesting." They had recently heard that young Harry Potter was able to vanquish powerful wizards and since Ron was Harry's age he certainly should be able to do so as well. They had been disappointed and now had given up. All Ron did was eat, sleep and make funny noises. The boys were convinced that they got the short end of the little brother stick. 

"So what do you boys have planned for today?" Molly asked. She wanted to ready the emergency medical equipment if necessary. 

"Oh nothing," sighed George.

"Yeah. Nothing," echoed Fred. "We thought we might read some books. Maybe catch frogs in the frog pond." He smiled at his Mum sweetly trying his best to convince her that he could do no wrong. It was too late for that, she already knew what the terrible two were capable of. 

Truth be told, Fred and George had a most exciting day planned. Since Bill had left for Hogwarts they had been pumping him for all the information he had about it. They wanted to be prepared for that glorious day when they went. Bill pretty much told them nothing. But recently he had become so annoyed with the twins that he finally gave them his copy of _Hogwarts, A History _so they would leave him alone. Fred and George had spent hours looking over it. Most of the words were too big for them and they had to get Charlie to tell them what they meant. He pretended to be bothered but ever since he had gotten his letter, he had become more and more interested. 

After much debate about the merits of each house, the twins had decided they wanted to be in Gryffindor. It was, after all, the house that Bill was in and he was really cool. The only problem was that to be in Gryffindor you had to be brave so today the twins were going to spend the day proving that they were courageous. They just didn't know how they were going to do it yet. Fred had his heart set on slaying a dragon but it turns out that they don't live in England anymore. Fred sighed into his porridge. There had to be some evil they could stop, some monster they could kill, some good deed they could do. 

Percy waltzed into the kitchen and glared at the twins. Molly was surprised to see him. He didn't come down from his room often because he was trying to study all he could before he went to Hogwarts. Fred and George had never heard of something so stupid. They kept stealing his books and hiding his quills so he got no work done. Sure it was a lot of trouble when their mother found out, but the color Percy's face turned made it worth it. 

"What's for breakfast Mum?" Percy asked with his nose in the air. 

Fred elbowed George, who threw cereal at Fred. Ron shrieked. Ginny cried. Percy yelled louder when his mother didn't answer him. Molly sighed. She would wish that Arthur was there to control them, but he never did anyway. "All of you be quiet," Molly shouted. All her children looked up at her wondering what they had done wrong. This was normal breakfast behavior for them. "Now just eat. No funny business." 

George looked at Fred and rolled his eyes. What were the chances of that? Percy glared at them. "Mum said to be quiet," he hissed. 

Fred looked at George and rolled his eyes. What were the chances of Percy not being a tattletale? He really was quite annoying. The Burrow would be much more fun without Percy around, Fred thought. He could tell George was thinking the same thing. They grinned evilly at each other. Maybe there was a monster they could kill. 

*****

"LET ME OUT!" Percy cried from inside his room. He had been yelling for help ever since his two twin brothers had locked him in over an hour ago. His plight was in vain however because Fred and George were giggling outside the door so loud that no one could hear him. Of course Percy should've just been glad that the twins' original plan hadn't worked and all they were left with was the idea to lock their brother away. They had read it in some Muggle book. It was times like these they wished they had a tower on the Burrow, but their father said it wasn't practical. 

"What now?" George gasped. Fred frowned. He didn't feel at all heroic yet. Percy hadn't even nearly killed them or anything. 

"Dunno," he sighed. "Maybe Dad has some dangerous Muggle thing that we should save humanity from." George shrugged. That made perfect sense but only to the two of them. 

The pair made their way down the twisted stairway each thinking of the great quest that lay ahead of them. Percy's yells got quieter and quieter until they were finally in front of the garage where Arthur Weasley kept all his Muggle stuff. The boys weren't technically supposed to go inside the garage but they did it all the time and their father never scolded them. 

They searched all over for something deadly, horrible or at least bad. But all they found was average stuff except it didn't do anything! There were pictures that didn't move! Brooms that didn't fly! It was all so boring. Fred found himself staring at a mirror, and all it did was stare back! He was ready to go back into the house and pout when George called out to him. 

"Fred! Over here!"

"What did ya find?" Fred asked excitedly. He rushed over the George's side to find his twin glaring at a bowl full of something he had never seen before. 

Fred poked the bowl's contents with his finger gingerly. To his great disappointment, nothing happened. "What are they?" He asked incredulously. 

"_Plugs_," George hissed with an air of reverence. 

"Ooooh," Fred took a closer look. They still didn't do anything. "So what?" 

George shrugged. "They have to be important if Dad collects them right?" 

Fred started down at the funny shaped things. "I guess so..." It was then that he realized they must just be sleeping. Of course they did something and if the twins wanted to catch the show, they would have to be patient. He pulled up a seat on the garage floor. "We'll wait." 

George and Fred sat and waited for what seemed like hours. They stared unflinchingly at the mysterious plugs to no avail. They did nothing. George shook off blurry vision that was caused by the perpetual staring. For a moment there he thought there had been four Weasley twins! He glanced over at Fred and realized that he wasn't doing too much better. Fred was curled up in the fetal position, fast asleep. George shook him gently. When that didn't work he shook him with the fury of a hurricane. Fred woke with a jerk. 

"What? Down with the plugs!" He cried out. George fell over laughing. Fred regained his bearings and glared down at George. "What is so funny?" George just laughed. 

Maybe the plugs had been a bust but the trip to the garage had certainly been worth it. Fred's face was priceless. 

*****

"Find anything yet?" George demanded. After a short lunch break, the two boys were right back on the trail of evil. George was flipping through one of Percy's numerous books with reckless abandon. They were looking for something that they could kill that was within walking distance. 

"What are you boys doing?" The twins froze. The voice that struck fear into the hearts of little boys echoed in their ears. Molly Weasley stood in the doorway with her hands on her hips. George couldn't help but note the wand she held firmly in her right hand. 

"Uh, nothing Mum." He did his best to look innocent. "Just going through one of Percy's books." They smiled sweetly. 

Molly stared at them for a good while. Then, realizing they were doing nothing she could punish them for, yet, she turned on her heel and left making a mental note the check on them in a few minutes. "You boys are more trouble than those lawn gnomes!" She tossed over her shoulder. 

Fred looked at George. George looked at Fred. Maybe there was some evil they could fight nearby. 

Fred poked his head out the door. George poked his head out underneath Fred's head. They looked around for anyone who would tattle on them. Mostly, they looked for Percy. The coast was clear. The twins crept out to the front lawn. The frogs in the frog pond croaked unusually loud. George shushed them. 

Stupidly, the lawn gnomes popped out of their holes to see what the fuss was about. Fred grinned at George. George grinned at Fred. "We are Garden Gnome Slayers!" They cried in unison and put their hands on their hips in what they thought was a formidable pose. Earlier they had decided they needed a catch phrase, perhaps they needed to work on it. 

George reached out and grabbed an knobby, brown gnome and hauled it out of its hole. The gnome thrashed and shrieked causing George to drop him. George took that opportunity to give the gnome a good kick. The gnome went a good distance and George was fairly pleased with himself. 

Other gnomes were poking their heads out of their holes. Not wanting to be out-done by his twin, Fred grabbed a gnome and attempted to throw it. Just then another gnome, in a burst of gnome solidarity, rushed from its hole and tried to save its friend. But because gnomes were not usually violent creatures, all it did was tug on Fred's pants. George rushed to his brother's aid and was soon wrestling a gnome to the ground amid high pitched shouts of "Gerroff!" 

Fred was still busy with his own gnome and couldn't help George. He was very aware that the other gnomes who were still in their holes were laughing at them. Enraged, Fred attempted to strangle the gnome in his grasp. It was a bad move allowing his fingers to get so close to the gnome's mouth. A sharp, stabbing pain, like being pricked with a needle, shot through his finger. 

Fred yelped. Hearing her son, Molly Weasley ran out of the kitchen to find her sons wrestling gnomes. "Fred! George!" She bellowed, smoke pouring out of her ears. 

The twins froze in their tracks. They gave each other looks from across the lawn, silently willing the other to say something that would get them out of trouble. 

"He bit me!" Fred cried. He stuck out his finger so Molly could see the trickle of blood. She seems to think he deserved it. 

* * * * *

At dinner, Molly was still mad at the twins. She hadn't punished them, but whenever she looked at them, she glared. Fred and George were used to this treatment so they just shrugged it off and ate like kings. Molly had forbidden them from hunting anymore evil or doing anything that might be dangerous. The twins, on the other hand, were thinking about going to the mountains and looking for trolls tomorrow. But nothing was definite. 

Arthur Weasley had just come home from work. He found his son's antics somewhat amusing but didn't dare tell his wife that. At least it took her mind off being sad that her other sons were gone. 

Ron and Ginny were giggling at a childish joke. Percy hadn't yet arrived. He was busy reading some book. Fred and George had probably read it already, they thought proudly. 

"PERCY!" Molly yelled at the top of her lungs. She was on the edge already and it wasn't helping that her son was late for dinner. That was something she could not tolerate. 

An annoyed Percy appeared at the top of the stairs. He pushed his glasses back onto his nose. Fred and George mocked him by elaborately pushing their fake glasses onto their noses. Percy looked down on them with an air or superiority. "Don't you two have anything better to do?" 

"Not really," they answered grinning. 

Molly turned around and shook her head at Percy. She didn't want him giving the twins any ideas. What they were doing now was perfectly acceptable to her. Arthur snorted into his dinner.

Ron laughed shrilly. He flung his arms around trying to imitate his twin brothers fighting garden gnomes. Fred and George continued to make fun of Percy all throughout dinner. Finally whether it was to get the twins attention or just because he thought it was dinner tradition to be mean to Percy, Ron flung a baby sized fist-full of food right at Percy's head. It landed squarely on his glasses. 

Fred and George nearly killed themselves laughing. Maybe Ron wasn't so useless after all. He could kill dark wizards, after all, he had got Percy! They spent the rest of the night trying to coach Ron to do it again. Percy nor Molly appreciated that at all. 

"FRED! GEORGE!" Molly yelled. They paid no attention to her. 

Arthur chuckled to himself. "Maybe you won't miss _all_ your boys so much once they're off at school," he whispered. 

Molly gave him a look. But she agreed that it might be nice to have a break. "THERE WILL BE NO MORE OF YOUR ANTICS IN THIS HOUSE!" she turned her attention back to the boys. 

The twins shrugged and inched away from Ron. It might not be a good idea to pursue this tonight. But tomorrow was another day... 


	2. Six Brothers: Grown Up Ginny

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Disclaimer: Rowling, Scholastic, blah, blah. 

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A/N: Well I wrote this one for my twin sister also and it's still about the Weasleys so I thought I'd call it a second chapter since I'm too lazy to come up with another title. However, this has absolutely nothing else to do with the first part of Weasley Wednesday. I'm thinking about doing a few more. Just a bunch of vignettes about life in the Burrow. Anyway, this one is from a grown-up Ginny's point of view.

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Special Thanks: To Docky and to Lady Reena for betaing. 

* * * * * 

I have six brothers: Bill, Charlie, Percy, Fred, George and Ron. Six. I'm the only girl-the baby. My parents must have wanted a girl and kept going until they got one. That, or one day they woke up and thought, "Oh my god! We have seven children!" That would stop anyone dead in his or her tracks. I don't plan on having many children myself. I can get my fill of whiny babies by hanging around with my brothers. 

I look in the mirror and see a beautiful woman; I can't believe it's me. I've grown up a lot in the last few years. Even the filled out figure, the long, silky, red hair and bright, brown eyes won't stop them from treating me like a child. I'm the one they need to protect. I smile because sometimes, that's nice. But mostly it's just annoying. 

"Supper," Charlie yells from downstairs. 

I drop my hairbrush and bound down the stairs along with all my brothers. George pushes Fred out of the way. Fred jumps on George's back and tries to tackle his twin. Percy yells at them. Ron trips and falls down the stairs. The entire Burrow shakes when the Weasley children are called to meals. 

"Coming!" Fred shouts back. 

"I know," Charlie zings. "I can tell by the shouts of 'stampede' from the villagers whose homes are about to be trampled underfoot." He winks at me. 

We all sit down in unison. I can't help but notice two chairs at either end of the table that remain empty. Arthur and Molly Weasley, better known as Mum and Dad, are off on a well-deserved holiday. Their seven grown-up children had decided it was a crime to leave the Burrow empty, so we all came home for some parentless sibling bonding. 

There are nine chairs crammed around the tiny dinner table. (Dad had to put a spell on it so it would be larger than it appeared.) Each of us has his or her own spot at the table. When we grow up and move away, our chairs remain vacant out of respect. When guests come over, a new chair has to be added because they can't use one of our seats. There's a rumor that this habit started when Bill went away to Egypt and he cursed his chair so that if anyone other than him sat there, they would never be able to get up. He didn't want Charlie to get cozy in his spot. That might just have been something Fred and George told me, but Bill looks awful proud of himself as he sits down. 

I looked around at the faces of my brothers. One time I tried to count all of our freckles, but lost count somewhere around 200. We are all very different, despite our similar redheaded facades. (Although it's hard to confuse me with the boys, but it's been done. My Grandmother Weasley was as blind as a bat.) People always make fun of us Weasleys because of our distinctive hair and because there are so many of us. When I was little, Bill always told me other families were jealous because us Weasleys could field our own Quidditch team. To this day, part of me still believes that. 

Anyone would be proud to be a Weasley. 

Percy buries his head inside some book he's reading. It looks really boring. Fred and George keep their heads together and talk rapidly in hushed tones. They're up to something, we all know it. They're always up to something. Bill is the only one who attempts to keep an eye on them, only because Mum made him. 

Ron turns to me with a smile. "How've you been, Gin?" he asks politely then passes me the rolls. 

"All right," I answer then ask him about Harry and Hermione. It's been awhile since I've seen Ron. I'm slightly uncomfortable because I can recall times, not long ago, when I told Ron almost everything. I think things started to change when he graduated Hogwarts and I stayed behind for another year. It was strange being on my own for the first time in my life. I was just "Ginny" after being "one of those Weasleys" for so many years. I did a lot of self-discovery that year. 

Sadly, a consequence of that was growing apart from my brothers. We all used to be best friends. Mum and Dad never let us go into the Muggle village. Since there weren't any other wizard families nearby, we were forced to make our own fun. I have stories from my childhood that would make you pee your pants. I hadn't realized how much I missed them until this morning when I walked through the door of the Burrow and saw them all sitting in the kitchen. It was like stepping back in time. I want them back in my life and I can tell by the expressions on their faces that they feel the same way. 

Charlie brings the rest of the food in and the room falls into silence besides the occasional loud chewing noise. I can vividly recall times when the nine of us would be all squashed around the table trying to grab the food before anyone else could. Trust me, six growing boys can eat as much food as a small country. They could get nasty about it too. The only way for me to get any food was to shove it all down before they could steal it from me. She who eats the fastest, gets the most. 

Without fail, George always points at my plate and says something that comes out garbled because his mouth is stuffed. I had him my plate, knowing very well that he meant to say was: "Are you going to finish that?" He grins gratefully before shoving my leftovers into his mouth. Fred looks jealous that he didn't think of that. 

This is our ritual. This is home. 

At the end of the meal, Charlie lets out a long, sated groan. I hold cover my mouth trying not to giggle. "That good huh? Want a cigarette?" Bill jokes. I laugh even harder but try not to show it. 

"Indeed! Most girls aren't that good." He makes an inappropriate face. 

Percy looks up from his book at Bill and Charlie disapprovingly. "Is this really appropriate meal-time conversation?" 

"Mum would have a fit..." Fred chuckles. 

"Mum wouldn't understand..." Ron assures him. 

"I don't know, Ron. She's had seven kids, I think she knows how it works." Bill's eyes twinkle. "She certainly knows more than you," he adds in jest. Ron goes red. 

All my brothers except Ron and Percy, laugh. I make a face. Long ago, I figured out that my parents must have had sex. I just don't like to think about it. Plus, mental images of my parents going at it aren't exactly what I need while I'm digesting. 

"Come on guys! Not in front of Ginny," Fred shouts protectively, mistaking my look for something else. George nods his head in agreement. All my brothers clam up and stare at me. They all wear guilty looks like I just caught them steal something from the cookie jar. It's funny seeing as they were the ones who corrupted me at a very young age. I found Fred and George's magazines once when I was a first year and didn't go into their room again until after they graduated Hogwarts. 

I stifle my giggles. "You guys don't have to do that. I know about sex. In fact, I've done it." They look at me in horror, shock and disgust. They must be thinking: "Not my innocent little sister!" I can't hold in my laughter anymore. 

"What?" Charlie demands. 

"You have?" Ron shouts. 

"With who?" Fred and George cry in unison. 

"What?" I ask ingenuously. I can't believe they're acting this way. I'm a grown woman now! 

"Names!" Bill bellows. "We want names!" 

"Why?" I choke in the midst of busting a gut. 

They all look at each other as if the answer should be obvious to me. "So we can beat the living tar out of them," Charlie explains matter-of-factly. 

I look around the table and suddenly stop laughing. I realize now how much they love me and how much they want to protect me. "My brothers," I whisper touched. "I love my brothers." I push my chair back so I can get closer to them. Bill and Ron smile when I hug them tightly. Fred and George blush when I gently kiss the top of their heads. Finally I take a seat in Charlie's lap and cling to him tightly. I am home here. "I love you guys," I repeat. "But I'm not telling you!" I add loudly. 

Charlie shakes his head at me. "It'd really be less painful for everyone if you just tell us and get it over with," he assures me. 

I can't help but grin at him. "Why? What are you going to do?" 

"Well, Fred and George can hold the smarmy bugger down," he answers causing Fred and George looked pleased with themselves, "then Ron, Bill and I can really wail on him." Charlie smiles, happy with his plan. 

I chuckle. "What about Percy?" Percy looks up from his book at me. He has decided to stay out of this conversation from the beginning. 

"I'm sure there's some book about beating the tar out of people Percy can read," Ron quips. Percy glares at him. 

"Hey Charlie! Maybe you could bring your dragons!" Fred suggests. 

Charlie grins at the idea. He likes it. "You guys could turn him into a canary or something." Fred and George beam. 

"Hey, Bill. Anyway we could lock him up in Gringotts? Maybe sick the goblins on him...?" 

Bill looks thoughtful. "I know some useful curses..." 

They continue like this for quite some time. Each death plot is considerably more horrible and elaborate than the last. I'll have to have any future boyfriends sign a wavier in case of injury. 

"Maybe we could train owls to peck him to death. That'd leave a mark," George suggested hopefully. 

"I heard of a guy who was cursed and ended up with three arms and only one leg. We could look into that." 

"Think Mum would let us grow man-eating plants in the yard?" 

I hug Charlie tighter and grin stupidly. I'm sorry I ever spent one minute away from them. I'm going to have to remedy that in the future. They are, and always will be, the most important men in my life. In an odd way, this whole evening makes me very happy. My brothers will always be there if I need them. God help the poor bastard who does me wrong. 

A girl can only take so much pain and death before she needs her beauty sleep. I say goodnight to my dear boys and head upstairs. They seem to think that now they can get into the really painful stuff now that I'm not there to hear it. I pause on the stairs and listen to them for a bit. I smile to myself. I was right, anyone would be lucky to be a Weasley. I'm living proof of that. 

Suddenly I hear a thunder coming from the kitchen. Two identical, redheaded boys rush up the stairs past me. "Out of the way, Gin," one of them shouts as they pass by. I hastily follow after them to see what the devil twins, as Mum used to call them, are up to now. 

Fred and George are in my room when I get there. Fred is going through my drawers. George is under my bed, apparently looking for something. "All clear," he announces but he continues to search through all of my stuff. Only then do I realize that he's not looking for something but someone. 

Fred throws open my closet door and cries "aha!" He looks crestfallen to find no guy hiding in there. They continue to search everywhere something boy shaped could hide and even some places they couldn't, like under my wand and in my bottle of shampoo. They didn't find anyone. They look mildly depressed but pleased with themselves now that they know I'm safe. 

Satisfied that I'm not harboring any men, the two turn to me and say politely, "Goodnight, Ginny." They clunk downstairs shouting. "There's no one up there!" and "We'll have to find the smarmy bugger some other way!" 

Bill mentions a particularly nasty truth potion. 

I fall over on my bed in a fit of giggles. "Oh boy," I think, "I have six brothers." 

* * * * *


	3. The Clock is Ticking

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DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of these characters. Rowling brought them into this world. I am both jealous and grateful. 

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AUTHOR'S NOTES: Yay! The third story in _Weasley Wednesday! _I'm surprised I got this part up so quickly after the last one. Thanks to everyone who reviewed the other parts. (I'll try to get to more Weasleys later on.) Like the others, this isn't very long, just a vignette about the Weasley's clock which I think is really cool. It's not really as funny as the other two. It's more of a mock epic or something. A lot of reviewers said that they wanted me to be nicer to Percy. He's not prominently featured in this fic but I hope it'll satisfy you that I don't completely hate him. (That spot in my heart is reserved for Wormtail! Loser.) 

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THANKS: To Docky, Elektra(EEK!) and, again, to everyone who reviewed. :)

* * * * *

It was an abnormally cold, summer evening when Arthur Weasley brought it home. "Bill! Charlie! Help me with this!" he called as he tried to carry the heavy object over the threshold of the Burrow. His two sons bounded down the stairs. They were little help to their father; they just gawked at the strange object he had chosen to bring home. Arthur fell over several times, but they just stared. 

"What are we going to do with _that_?" Molly Weasley demanded appearing from the kitchen. Her husband brought so many strange objects into their home. She didn't know what he could be thinking. Where were they going to put such a monstrous, useless object?

__

Probably right next to the slug-shaped, crawling dinner plates that he promised me the kids would love, she thought bitterly. 

"What is it, Dad?" Young Charlie asked in awe. 

The mighty item appeared to be an ordinary, grandfather clock. It was intricately designed and stood almost twice as tall as Charlie. He stared up at it in wonder. For the first time, he noticed that clock had no hands and no numbers on its face. He turned to his father, hoping for an explanation. Arthur didn't notice. He carefully put the clock down in a prominent position in the living room. He smiled proudly. The others looked back at him with blank looks, what the heck was it?

Molly glared at the offensive clock. It didn't match any of the other furniture and stuck out like a sore thumb. Anyone who visited the Burrow wouldn't be able to help but notice the large structure. She folded her hands over her chest, making a mental note to move it to somewhere less visible while Arthur was at work the next day. 

"What does it do?" Bill asked excitedly. 

"Watch," Arthur answered seemingly pleased with his son's question. He turned to Molly and smiled at her, not noticing her dark scowl. 

The clock sat inanimately for a few moments as if settling into its surrounding and getting a feel for the Burrow. (Molly tapped her foot impatiently.) Then there was a slight movement in the center of its face. A single, gold knob poked its way through the clean, white surface like a chicken hatching from an egg. The knob began to branch out into nine separate hands. Each hand spun around the clock by itself revealing nine names engraved in the gold. One by one, the hands tested each location listed where the time should be, looking for its Weasley. Eventually all nine hands landed on 'home'. 

Arthur turned around and grinned expectantly at his family. "Cool!" the boys cried in unison. Molly rolled her eyes and went back into the kitchen. Arthur stared after her curiously. What was wrong with her? His concern didn't last long, because his sons quickly regained his full attention. 

"Where'd you get it, Dad?" Bill asked. 

"The Minister of Magic himself gave it to me," he puffed out importantly. "I did him a favor." 

"Wazzit?" Little Fred and George called from the stairs. They were still in their pajamas and were rubbing sleep out of their eyes. The boys were supposed to be in bed now, but obviously heard the commotion and came downstairs not wanting to miss any action. 

"Come here!" Arthur motioned them over happily. "Look!" He pointed at his prized clock. 

The boys scrambled forward for a closer look. Each twin tried to jump up for a closer look at his own hand. It didn't work since they were still so short. Arthur hoisted the twins into his arms allowing them to peer at the intricate design of his new possession. 

Molly chose that moment to return to the living room. She wanted to tell Arthur about something she had read in the _Daily Prophet. _"Fred! George!" She yelped when she saw her babies out of bed at this time of night. The newspaper article was quickly forgotten. 

Arthur turned to look at her, a twin still held under either arm. He didn't see the harm in letting them see his new clock and wondered why his wife was so upset. "What is it, Molly?" he asked innocently. 

"They are supposed to be in bed," she seethed. Fred and George protested. They were big boys now, after all. "GO!" she yelled angrily. The twins promptly shut up and hustled back up the stairs into their warm beds. Molly turned to glare at her husband. "I hope you didn't wake the other children too," she turned to go up the stairs apparently to make sure that Percy, Ron and Ginny were fast asleep. She shot one more evil look at Arthur before disappearing. 

Arthur turned to Bill and Charlie and shrugged. 

* * * * * 

The next day, Molly kept her promise to herself and moved the clock into the dark hallway that lead from the kitchen to the door to the basement. Practically no one could see it there and she was glad for that. She hoped she could forget it was there, but every now and again, while she was making dinner, she'd throw a angry glance over her shoulder. It was a compulsion. She wanted to get rid of it and resented its presence. 

Occasionally the boys would run in from the living room to have a look at the clock. They mostly used it to see if their father was at work or coming home. This only served to irritate Molly further. Arthur usually apparated home, so the clock didn't give much warning anyway. It seemed so useless to Molly. Yet Arthur and the children insisted that it was "_cool._"

Molly began to chop some carrots irritably. Outside, the kids were playing happily in the summer sun. Ron and Ginny were playing some childish game on the front stoop where Molly could keep an eye on them. Percy was sitting next to them, helping Ginny to beat Ron without him knowing. He kept whispering instructions in her ear when Ron wasn't looking. Bill and Charlie were trying to catch frogs in the frog pond. Fred and George were God knows where. Molly decided she didn't want to go look for them. It would put her in a sour mood. She threw another look at the clock. All the hands except for Arthur's said 'home.' That was good enough for her. As long as the twins weren't in 'mortal peril' she was happy.

Arthur was still at work. _He should be home any minute now,_ she thought. The meal was almost ready. As if on cue, Arthur appeared in the kitchen and kissed his wife on the cheek. "Hullo, dear!" 

Molly smiled and blushed deeply. _See?, _she thought, _I don't need that dumb clock to tell me when he's coming home. _

"Daddy!" Ginny shrieked happily as she ran from the stoop into her father's arms. She was still at that age that when Daddy came home from work it was an exciting event that merited hugs and kisses. The boys remained indifferent. 

"Hello, princess." Ginny giggled as Arthur lifted her high into the air. 

Molly returned to her task. "Arthur, go tell the boys dinner is almost ready. And find out what the twins are up to. They've been awful quiet today." Arthur nodded. When the twins were quiet, that meant a storm was brewing. 

"What do you say, Ginny, want to go find your brothers?" Ginny scrambled down from her father's arms. She led him, bending over nearly on all fours in an attempt to hang onto her tiny hand, outside.

Soon Molly could hear the twins laughing. They were joking with their father, whose laughter soon followed, like he was their friend from school. He never could scold the children. He was a big softie. But he'd protect them with his life. Molly had a sudden maternal pang; she needed to check on her babies. Well Arthur had his eye on three of them, but where were the other children? Molly glanced over to where Percy and Ron were still sitting. Ron was trying to figure out how Ginny had beat him. Percy was trying to look innocent. 

But where were Bill and Charlie? She couldn't remember the last time she had heard their voices coming from outside. Without realizing what she was doing she looked behind her at the clock. Molly let out a scream that would make a banshee jealous. Everyone else ran inside.

"What is it, Molly?" a panicked Arthur asked. She didn't answer, just stared dumbstruck at the clock. He followed her eyes and gasped. 

Eight hands on the clock were happily perched at 'home' but Charlie's hand was pointing straight upward to 'mortal peril.'

Before anyone else could speak, Molly disapparated from the kitchen leaving the food preparations forgotten. The rest of the family looked at each other, unsure of what to do. 

Molly reappeared outside of the Burrow by the frog pond where Charlie and Bill had been playing. She searched frantically for her boys. Bill had his back turned to Molly. He was chasing a runaway frog. He hadn't noticed his mother yet and was completely unaware that anything was wrong. Her eyes combed the scene. But where was Charlie? 

Molly felt her stomach drop into her feet. Charlie was laying face down in the shallow water. (A frog sitting atop his head released a loud ribbit.) He wasn't moving. She shrieked again and dove into the filthy pond after him. 

Bill turned around finally noticing that something was up. "Wazzit?" 

"Charlie! Charlie!" Molly yelled as she yanked her son up from the muddy waters. He was limp in her arms. Charlie opened one bleary eye and spit up some water. "Mum?" he asked, confused. 

She didn't hear him. _"Ennervate!" _she cried out frantically. 

"What happened?" Bill asked as he came running up. The rest of the family appeared on the front lawn. They were all about to ask the same thing. All they saw was a very wet Molly clutching Charlie, who was extremely embarrassed, to her and sobbing hysterically. 

"Your little brother nearly drowned!" she yelled at Bill. Apparently she blamed him for this turn of events. "You were supposed to be keeping an eye on him!" 

Bill flushed and looked away under her penetrating eyes. It was Charlie who spoke up. "Honestly, Mum. Bill woulda found me before anything happened. I wasn't under that long. I just slipped..." his voice trailed off and he blushed furiously. 

Fred and George choked back giggles. The frog pond was a foot deep on a good day. They were sure that their mother was making a big deal out of nothing. Charlie looked like he wanted a hole in the Earth to swallow him up. But he couldn't get out of his mother's grasp. She kept kissing him and leaving bright, pink lip marks on his face. 

That night at dinner, Charlie sunk down in his chair and tried to avoid eye contact with his family. Bill and the twins kept making fun of him while Molly kept asking him if he was all right and telling him that she was going to keep a closer eye on him from now on. _That _was just what he wanted: more mom in his life. Charlie chewed his food with a long tooth and took great pains in swallowing. He wasn't hungry but if he told Molly that she'd probably take him to the doctors. 

He glared at the clock, blaming the inanimate object for all of his problems, as Molly had earlier that day. It was no longer buried in the poorly lit hallway behind the kitchen, but prominently displayed in the living room. Molly had grown a new affinity for it in the last few hours. She seemed to think it had saved his life. 

"I think we've all learned a valuable lesson today," Arthur spoke up trying to find a bright spot in the situation. 

"Sometimes the junk you bring home really is useful?" George suggested. Arthur blushed. 

"That Charlie isn't as good a swimmer as he says he is?" Fred chirped. 

"Frog pond water tastes foul?" Bill winked at Charlie. 

Charlie threw down his fork and pushed his chair back. "Where are you going, Charlie dear?" Molly asked surprised at his abrupt movement. 

"Bathroom," he grumbled. 

"Maybe we should go with you!" Fred piped up. 

"Don't want you to fall in," George added. 

Charlie's ears turned red. His siblings looked like Christmas had come early, even Percy was laughing at him. Oh, they were never going to let him live this down. 

* * * * *

Be kind, rewind - er - review. (Let's face it, I'm a review whore.)


	4. Weasley World Domination

Yeah it's me again. I couldn't sleep last night so I wrote this. It's kind weird, but every now and again I need to write something that is just makes me laugh and has no other purpose. Don't expect deep thoughts. 

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DISCLAIMER: The Weasleys belong to JK Rowling. ::sniff:: I wish they were mine though. 

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NOTES: I wrote this because Amy, w&m_law, and I were talking once and I told her about the Weasley World Domination plan(tm). And then last night I was trying to sleep and my mind just wandered there. I used some catch phrases in here. Obviously they're not going to know who _Pinky and the Brain _are or what the _Raid _slogan is but I had to put it in anyway. 

Thanks to everyone who reviewed the last couple chapters. I'm trying to be nicer to Percy I swear! I'm working on another chapter and it's about Bill. I don't know when that'll be up. Probably not for awhile since I have three other fics I'm working on also. 

* * *

The Burrow was completely silent both inside and out. The Weasley family had just finished dinner. Molly was cleaning and Arthur was catching up on some work. The many Weasley children, however, remained seated at the kitchen table even though their plates had been cleared off long ago. 

Ron stared off vacantly into space; there was a slight bit of drool coming down his chin. Ginny was resting her head on her folded arms in front of her, apparently asleep. The older boys, Bill and Charlie were having their fifth staring contest. Percy was reading a long, tiresome-looking book. 

"I'm boooooooooooooored," whined Fred causing all the others to jerk their heads to look at him. 

"You're anoooooooooooying," said Charlie imitating his brother's obnoxious voice. 

That shut Fred up. They were engulfed in silence once more. Ginny drew idly with her finger. The boys, who had nothing better to do, watched intently. Oh, that was a nice squiggle. 

"What are you kids doing?" asked Arthur as he walked into the kitchen. He put his hands on his hips and looked at his children. They all turned listlessly to look at him. 

"_Nothing_," said Ron bitterly. 

"Plotting to take over the world," George quipped. 

"Have fun." Arthur shook his head and left. What a pathetic looking bunch. 

The clock on the wall ticked away the minutes. Tick tock. Bill drummed his fingers on the table in tune. Tick tock. 

"We could take over the world," said Fred abruptly. 

"Yeah, but," George shrugged, "Think of all the effort that'd take. We'd have to get up and everything." 

"Oh yeah," Fred yawned lazily. "Good point." 

They all watched as Percy flipped the pages of his book. One page. Two pages. They were jealous that he had something to do. They'd read something too, but all of Percy's books bored them to tears. Three pages. Four pages. 

Ginny sighed loudly. 

"But _how _would we take over the world?" asked Bill not willing to let their one topic of discussion drop. 

"Simple," answered Fred. "There's seven of us, right?" They all looked around and nodded. Yep, there were seven Weasley kids. "If the seven of us all have seven kids then there'll be 49 kids. And if the 49 of them all have seven kids then there'll be..." his voice trailed off as he realized he didn't know the math. 

"343." Percy spoke up still not moving his eyes off his book. 

"Yes, thank you." Fred looked pleased. "Soon the entire world will be redheaded and freckled." 

"Wow," said Bill not impressed. "We better get humpin'."

Ginny giggled. "There's gonna hafta build a new wing onto Gryffindor tower." 

"Yeah..." 

They were quiet again as they had seemingly beaten this topic into the ground. 

"There's nothing to do!" whined Fred again unable to bear the quiet. "No one's around." 

"It's like we're on an island of boredom," said Charlie poetically. 

No one had an answer to that. Ron started banging his head against the table. One bang. Two bangs. His face was turning red now. Someone should really say something to make him stop. Three bangs. Four bangs. But if they stopped him, then it'd be silent again. 

"Oh for heaven's sake," cried Percy reasonably finally putting his book down. "Ron, stop that!" 

He stopped and blushed. 

"If we _were _stranded on a desert island," asked George as if it had been something on his mind for a long time, "who would we eat first?" 

"Ewww!" yelped Ginny. 

"Don't talk like that," scolded Percy. 

George let the subject drop. It was soundless again. Fred eyes rolled back into his head. They watched wondering if he might be dead. That'd be interesting. 

"Charlie," he said snapping his head forward. Damn. He wasn't dead.

"What?" demanded Charlie. 

"We'd eat you first," explained Fred. 

"Why?!?" 

"You're the biggest. Got the most meat on you." The other boys nodded. That made sense. 

"No!" said Ginny coming to her brother's defense. "What if there are dragons on the island? Charlie would have to protect us." She looked thoughtful. "Plus, he kills bugs and stuff."

"Good point," agreed Ron. "Kills bugs dead." 

"Bill then," George reasoned. 

"Nope," said Bill shaking his head. "I'll be the hunter or something. You need me." 

"Yeah," Charlie laughed. "He'll kill stuff with his fang." He teasingly reached out to touch Bill's earring. Bill jerked his head away in disgust. 

"Or we could just kill Bill and take the fang." They all turned to look at Fred with loathing. "What?" he demanded. "We're starving here! There's no time for pleasantries!"

Percy shook his head disapprovingly. 

"Percy then." Fred smirked. 

"But Percy's smart," Ron pointed out. "He might be able to get us off the island." 

"Well we'll eat you then," Fred glared at Ron. 

"Nah," Bill disagreed. "Ron's the most famous. Knows Harry Potter. People'll come looking for him." Ron flashed Fred a triumphant grin. 

George looked at his sister sadly. "Sorry, Ginny." 

"You can't kill Ginny," argued Charlie. 

"Why not?" 

"Because she's the only girl. What if we have to reproduce?" 

"Ewwwwwwwwwwwwww!" came the unanimous reply. 

"That's our sister man!" said Ron squeaked. 

"If we don't reproduce then we can't take over the world!" yelled Charlie. 

They all nodded. Good point. 

"I'm not having 49 kids!" Ginny looked horrified. 

Fred and George sighed dejectedly. "Guess we'll hafta starve then." 

"What about you two?" asked Bill skeptically. 

The twins looked at one another appalled that Bill had even suggested it. "We're the comic relief. Without us there'd be no joy in your miserable lives," they announced proudly. 

"Why do we need _two _comics?" asked Percy busting their bubble. 

"Yeah," Charlie nodded. "We only need one of you." 

The twins looked horrified. 

"Tell you what," Bill grinned mischievously. "When we get to the island the first few days will be a trial period. We'll pick whoever is the funniest." 

"And the other will die!" cried Ginny devilishly. 

"I don't like this game anymore," spat Fred wishing he had never brought it up. 

"Mum!" George cried out to Molly in a scared voice. "They're plotting to kill us again." 

Molly's unimpressed voice drifted in from the living room. "That's nice, dear." 

The other Weasleys laughed. Fred and George jumped to their feet. "Mum! Did you hear what I said!" They ran into the living room. Bill and Charlie leapt up and began to harass them. 

"Mum doesn't care. In fact, she'll help us out," Charlie teased. 

The four boys disappeared into the other room. The three remaining Weasleys heard a scuffle in the other room and then: 

"Mum! Charlie's got me in a headlock!" 

"That's nice, dear." 

Ginny giggled. Ron ran to see. His laughter filled the Burrow. 

Glad to finally be rid of them, Percy reached for his book again and started to read. 

Ginny looked around the now empty kitchen and sighed. "What are we going to do tomorrow night, brain?" Ginny asked as he turned the page. 

"Same thing we do every night, Ginny," he answered without looking up. "Plot to take over the world." 


End file.
